Thank You, Dr.Singh

Dear Dr.Singh ,

Thank you very much. Have a safe and active retired life.

You might have noticed that I have chosen to address you as Dr.Singh and not as ‘Mr.Prime Minister’.

I didn’t want to cloud my mind with negativity and despair and hence start an outpouring of emotions. Hence I have avoided giving the burden of being a prime minister to you.

Sir, the post of the Prime Minister of India was an institution. Yes, it is a ‘was’. That is because it used to be an institution with such raw power and authority to make or break the lives of a billion people and more. And now the ‘institution’ has become a museum where one gets a glimpse of what it used to be like and derive nostalgic pleasure. Thank you for that.

Sir, when you became the Prime Minister, I was enthralled not because of your political party but because of the number of letters that succeeded your name – your qualifications. But you helped me in a way. You have proved that the number of characters behind one’s name does not signify the ‘character’ of the person. Thank God, my name has just two characters following it.

Sir, I know that you are preparing to leave and you have written to the world leaders about your imminent departure. Now that you have written to them, I come to know that you have been there for the last 10 years.

When I come to think of the last 10 years, some thoughts come to my mind. I cannot help but think of these past events and people.

  1. Natwar Singh. Your minister in your first term. He was supposed to have taken money from, of all persons, Saddam Hussein.
  2. Sashi Tharoor. The Minister for Twitter. I don’t know if he has done anything more than tweet. He probably was an employee of Twitter, out to promote the company in India.
  3. Shibu Soren. You were not able to reach out to him, when he went underground. And might I add that he was a minister in your cabinet ?
  4. Mamta Banerjee. No, I don’t want to speak about her. Silence is golden, in her case
  5. A.Raja. May be I should not have brought his name at all. Oh yes, he helped Saravana Bavan open a branch in Tihar.
  6. T.R.Baalu. Well, the minister for shipping and transport who shipped and transported wealth for himself and his boss.
  7. P.Chidambaram. Hope you know if he did something while in office other than speaking about Gujarat.
  8. Pranab Mukherjee. He used to be Finance Minister when he was not mollifying Karunanidhi in Chennai.
  9. Kapil Sibal. The person who got the nobel prize for inventing ‘zero’.
  10. Veerappa Moily. The employee of Reliance.
  11. Salman Kurshid. The person who wanted to be in China and said so in Beijing.
  12. Renuka Chaudhry. Not sure what she was other than than she had difficulty in closing her mouth.
  13. Anand Sharma. Not sure what he did other visiting Singapore a couple of times.
  14. Mani Shankar Aiyer – The citizen of Pakistan who found himself in your cabinet for a few months and later in parliament whose job was to out-shout the T.V. anchors in their studios.
  15. Dayanidhi Maaran – The Minister in charge of digging up Chennai roads to lay telephone cables who also incidentally owns  some meagre cable television companies and just one airline company.
  16. Sharad Pawar. The Minister for Agriculture who was developing Agriculture in Dubai, officiating BCCI cricket matches.
  17. Suresh Kalmadi. Not sure who he is. But any mention of ‘stadium’ brings up his image on Google.

Thank you for having demonstrated that one can remain silent even in the company of the above characters.

And I have some retirement ideas for you, Sir. You could write a book on any or all of the following :

  1. ‘Why Gujarat was never a part of India’
  2. Transcendental Meditation in Troubled Times’
  3. ‘Cabinet and the Art of Not Making noise’
  4. ‘The Art and Science of Silent Loot’
  5. ‘Subservience to a woman and its benefits’
  6. ‘Why Coalgate is not good for India’
  7. ‘The Intelligent Investors’ guide to Switzerland’
  8. ‘Hiding behind sarees’

Thanks you.

Yours Sincerely,

Right Off Center

Modi. Period.

No, ‘Modi. Period.’ has not been typed by mistake. I mean it.

Just travel with me for some time in the past. Come with me just about two millinnium backwards in time, just in case that is possible.

You are in the time period when Kautilya, the ancient political strategiest has taken a vow to bring the Maurya empire into focus again.

What you see is a humungous land mass that has been bisected, trisected, vivisected and what not by the myriad rulers and dynasties. People are dejected. There is a general mood of despair and melancholy. People walk down with shoulders drooped down. The pundits have become self-centered and resort to exclusion. The wealthy class looks at amassing what ever wealth is available for them to hoard.

The kings who are supposed to be just, behave in the most un-just manner. Coterie rules the nation or what ever is left of the land mass called nation.

Kings pander to paramours. The helpers of the paramours form the coterie around the king and amass wealth. In the process they resort to every possible means to subdue rebels and intellectuals. Any whimper of protest is put down with the most brutal force.

Nothing can be more inviting to the enemies of the nation than the downward spiral of the morale of its people. Even if an enemy chooses to attack the nation, the people think of looking the other way as they think that the attack is on the king who is anyways unconnected with the ordinary people. But the actual attack is on the nation and its wealth.

So, why do the people behave so, you wonder. A closer look at the people reveals the truth. They feel alienated from the King and its coterie. And so they are indifferent.

Then you see the luminous personality, Kautilya, better known as Chanakya coming over and declaring that he would one day make Magadh a powerful empire that it once was and install Chandragupta Vikramaaditya as the emperor of Bharat. And Bharat includes the present day Bangladesh, Nepal, Afghanistan and Pakistan. And to perform that he trains the young Chandragupta in the relevant martial arts and statecraft that are needed to perform the turnaround.

Initially you see that people are still indifferent and look away from him. But he accomplishes his tasks in a meticulous manner. He helps annexe smaller peripheral kingdoms and slowly builds confidence in the young Chandragupta as well as in the people. With the initial victories, you see that people slowly begin to take notice of him. And over a period of time, having been used to the victories of Chanakya, the ordinary people fall for his words and begin to rally behind him.

Time passes as you watch. And Chanakya’s words get sharper. Chandragupta begins to realize that he too could be powerful. He understands that the nation is not doomed, after all, with all its resources. Every leper and mis-fit in the country begins to take notice of the positive energy that they are being swarmed under. The euphoria of nationalism builds up. You see that even housewives, who have no opinion on anything about the nation, begin to take interest in the national affairs and discuss among themselves as to the new uprising.

Children talk about Chanakya and Chandragupta. You and I watch the numerous martial arts training schools that are springing up just before our eyes. We are witness to the fact that middle aged men, sick men and otherwise inconsequential men take to these training schools hoping to take part in the national upsurge. Ordinary workers show a sense of pride in their trade. We see that there is a sense of urgency in everybody. We feel the energy and optimism that builds up and the despair and doom that declines.

We also see that the otherwise dismissive neighboring states suddenly take notice of the nation and are reacting to every small change that takes place in Magadh.

Now, stop day dreaming, my reader and travel with me to the future, that is the present, 2014.

Don’t you see the same happening before your very eyes ?

Modi. Period.

Dictionary of Stupidity

Have you ever thought about being stupid or being an idiot ? Never mind if you have not. I have profound experience in that pursuit.

In my relentless pursuit of knowledge to discover the difference between ‘being a stupid’ and ‘being an idiot’, I have come across many more such states in which one might find oneself – between being stupid and an idiot.

Let me explain. I know that I don’t understand satellite technology. Just in case anybody asks me to explain the nuances of the technology that goes in into a satellite, I fumble, flounder, prevaricate, stutter, groan, mutter and generally behave like Rahul on TV. it goes something like this :

Q : ‘Explain satellite technology?’

Me: Technology used in a satellite is satellite technology.

Q: Explain what technologies are used in a satellite

Me: Any technology that is supposed to be used in a satellite is the technology that is used in a satellite.

Q : Well, can you explain any one technology in a satellite ?

Me: Actually, the power to question and know the answer is a trait that manifests itself in the form of a technology that is used in a satellite. And that is …

If the interview proceeds in the aforementioned fashion then I am an idiot.

Suppose I repeat this exercise, again and again, in front of different audiences and appear to show that I am indeed answering the questions and that the answers are relevant, then I am stupid.

In short, the insistence on consistently exhibiting ones’ idiocy and pretending that one is on the right every time results in one being declared stupid.

Note : The explanations provided are trademarked and copyrighted ( copy wronged ?). Any resemblances to any incidents in the past or future or to any Television interview programs, in the past or future, with or without involving Arnob Goswami, are and would be coincidental.

I was Nehru’s shadow- review

It is quite easy to heap garbage on people. That too, if the people happen to be past leaders, it becomes all the more lucrative.  And if the person happens to be Jawaharlal Nehru, then he can be vilified no matter what. That is the norm these days.

But this book is not about vilifying Panditji ( Nehru is called Panditji in India). This, for a change, shows in detail about Panditji, the person.

Rustomji was the personal security officer appointed by the government to guard JN ( Nehru is called as JN in this book). And he writes about Panditji from what he saw about him and his interactions with him for no man on earth would have had so close an access to Panditji as Rustomji had. He was the PSO for JN between 1952 and 1958 – those tumultous early days of independence.

Rustomji writes in detail about his daily interactions with JN – what his daily routine used to be, what he would have for breakfast and how his days would be. We get to know of the different speeches that JN made at different points in time in different countries, JNs’ interactions with other world leaders Eisenhower, Chou-En-Lai, U-Nu of Burma, Pakistani leaders, the Saudi royalty, Khrushev and Bulganin of the USSR and the different Indian leaders.

Apart from the routine stuff, what we get to know about JN are his un-ending love for the country, his stubborn resistance to communalism often bordering on utopian-secularism, his strong adherence to ‘socialism’ – the concept failed though in later years, his extra-ordinary efforts to forge friendship between India and China that ultimately led to complacence which resulted in the India-China war in 1962.

JN stands out as a extra-ordinary patriot, a no-nonsense person who fumed at inefficiency, despotism and lethargy, one who stood out as a towering leader during the volatile and unstable time just after independence.

We also come across the human attributes of JN. One such is his ability to get angry and express his emotions in public and soon after try to patch up with the admonished almost immediately.

JN comes out as a person who worked for more than 16 hours per day even if he had had to travel from one part of the country to the other for 15 days in a month. JN apparently had made his routine to conduct his party conferences in far off places from Delhi like Madras ( now Chennai ), Kerala, Assam and the like just to ensure that the people of those regions don’t feel alienated.

We also get to know of Indira Gandhi ( JN’s daughter ) who, unknown to herself, was getting educated in the rough and tumble of Indian politics.

A great read for Indians of the new era who apparently don’t have an insight into the lives of the leaders of yore.

I was Nehru's shadow- review

It is quite easy to heap garbage on people. That too, if the people happen to be past leaders, it becomes all the more lucrative.  And if the person happens to be Jawaharlal Nehru, then he can be vilified no matter what. That is the norm these days.

But this book is not about vilifying Panditji ( Nehru is called Panditji in India). This, for a change, shows in detail about Panditji, the person.

Rustomji was the personal security officer appointed by the government to guard JN ( Nehru is called as JN in this book). And he writes about Panditji from what he saw about him and his interactions with him for no man on earth would have had so close an access to Panditji as Rustomji had. He was the PSO for JN between 1952 and 1958 – those tumultous early days of independence.

Rustomji writes in detail about his daily interactions with JN – what his daily routine used to be, what he would have for breakfast and how his days would be. We get to know of the different speeches that JN made at different points in time in different countries, JNs’ interactions with other world leaders Eisenhower, Chou-En-Lai, U-Nu of Burma, Pakistani leaders, the Saudi royalty, Khrushev and Bulganin of the USSR and the different Indian leaders.

Apart from the routine stuff, what we get to know about JN are his un-ending love for the country, his stubborn resistance to communalism often bordering on utopian-secularism, his strong adherence to ‘socialism’ – the concept failed though in later years, his extra-ordinary efforts to forge friendship between India and China that ultimately led to complacence which resulted in the India-China war in 1962.

JN stands out as a extra-ordinary patriot, a no-nonsense person who fumed at inefficiency, despotism and lethargy, one who stood out as a towering leader during the volatile and unstable time just after independence.

We also come across the human attributes of JN. One such is his ability to get angry and express his emotions in public and soon after try to patch up with the admonished almost immediately.

JN comes out as a person who worked for more than 16 hours per day even if he had had to travel from one part of the country to the other for 15 days in a month. JN apparently had made his routine to conduct his party conferences in far off places from Delhi like Madras ( now Chennai ), Kerala, Assam and the like just to ensure that the people of those regions don’t feel alienated.

We also get to know of Indira Gandhi ( JN’s daughter ) who, unknown to herself, was getting educated in the rough and tumble of Indian politics.

A great read for Indians of the new era who apparently don’t have an insight into the lives of the leaders of yore.

‘Self-deception – India’s China Policies’ – book review

When Arun Shourie writes a book, there are three kinds of reactions. The Congress doesn’t speak, the communists denigrate the book and the nationalist becomes sad on reading the book. All three reactions are wholly justified as they are true. The fact of the matter is that the book, true to Shourie’s style, contains detailed analysis, in-depth and incisive evidences to back the analysis and then in the end, the way forward from the current situation.

And, as usual, the way forward is coolly forgotten by the country that continues to live in utopian dreams.

The subject of this book is also on similar lines – Indian nationalism, India’s foreign policy, how the leaders let the country down and what needs to be done to take it forward from the then current abyss. In this book, the leader that has let the country down is, hold your breath, Pandit Nehru. Yes, of all people, how Panditji screwed India’s foreign policy and the aftereffects of that carefully cultivated folly called ‘NAM – Non Aligned Movement’ and the case of mis-placed self-promotion that cost the country dear.

No, this is not an anti-Congress book from a BJP writer. For practical purposes, after Vajpayee started to recede from politics due to health reasons, Shourie has never played any role in the BJP. However, his forthrightness and fortitude are all the same.

It begins with Panditji’s lofty ‘ideals’ at the time of independence in 1947, goes on to explain the lies that he imagined to be true and the imaginary position that he commanded in world affairs and therefore chose to ignore the obvious evil, China and its communist upsurge.

Panditji is warned, with great foresight, by Rajendra Prasad, the then President of the Nation, Sardar Patel, the then Home Minister on China’s evil designs. He is repeatedly sent long lists of evidences from different officers of the Indian Government from Sikkim, Arunachal Pradesh, Tibet, Beijing ( then Peking ). Panditji chooses to ignore each and every one of these evidences and letters. In fact, he admonishes the writers of these letters.

It becomes a habit for Panditji to putdown the very officers of the government who choose to do their duties. Officer after officer presents Panditji with the situation on the ground in Tibet, Sikkim, Arunachal Pradesh, Aksai Chin and Lhasa. And every time each of these officers are admonished by Panditji. He puts them down either for their usage of the term ‘communist’ or for the term ‘McMahon Line’. Or otherwise he chides them for some language usage. With these he wishes his hand away from the main problem of China.

The officers repeatedly talk about the issue of China issuing maps that show large parts of Sikkim, Arunachal Pradesh and Tibet as their territory. First he rubbishes them that those were old maps. Later he says the Chinese government doesn’t have time to issue new maps and hence ignore that. And these are exactly the lines spoken by Chou-en-lai, the then Premier of China. And what ever Chou-en-lai says, Panditji repeats.

When opportunity presents itself for Panditji to discuss these issues with Cho-en-lai, he prevaricates. Instead he speaks about Cuba, Algeris, Korean war, the US-Britain imperialism etc.

These, Shourie presents from Panditji’s own letters o his Ambssadors to China, Letters to the Chief Ministers and hid various press conferences. And what we see is that first Pandithi refutes and puts down the questioner, then after some years seems to slightly agree but hide under the garb of ‘socialist thought’ and later only when China attacks in 1962, does he acknowledge the Chinese threat.

And the issue of the Chinese communist threat to India has been there from 1950 onwards.

We also get to know the great debates and questions that happen in Lok Sabha when Panditji is questioned by Prof.N.G.Ranga, Acharya Kripalani and Atal Bijari Vajpayee. Yes, Vajpayee is relentless in his questioning of Panditji on China.

Towards the later part of the book, we get a glimpse of China’s growing hegemony in the world – oil diplomacy, funding diplomacy and later military diplomacy, the way countries in Latin America that are not eligible for IMF loans are provided loans in return for oil favours, the way deep water ports are constructed in Gwadar Pakistan, Sri Lanka almost free of cost with the only condition that China would have first rights for oil transport through these ports, the way oil pipelines have been laid from Burma deep into China, the way Tibetan rivers are diverted to provide water to Central China – all these are explained in great detail with evidence.

And the Chinese way of usurping territory – ignore complaints, silently encroach and set up base and later claim that they had never had any contention in the area under question. The other tactic is ‘murder with borrowed knife’ – arm the enemy’s enemy. And China excels in that.

And what is also explained is the complete policy paralysis in India right from the days of Panditji to the current regime when inaction is eulogized as policy and strategy, ignorance is camouflaged as wisdom and policy paralysis has become the norm.

And towards the end of the book, we get the complete but abysmal picture of the current state of affairs especially with respect to foreign policy ( better that we don’t discuss about the other fronts like Finance, Education etc ).

The book leaves you with a deep sense of shattered national pride.

A must read for every Indian nationalist.

'Self-deception – India's China Policies' – book review

When Arun Shourie writes a book, there are three kinds of reactions. The Congress doesn’t speak, the communists denigrate the book and the nationalist becomes sad on reading the book. All three reactions are wholly justified as they are true. The fact of the matter is that the book, true to Shourie’s style, contains detailed analysis, in-depth and incisive evidences to back the analysis and then in the end, the way forward from the current situation.

And, as usual, the way forward is coolly forgotten by the country that continues to live in utopian dreams.

The subject of this book is also on similar lines – Indian nationalism, India’s foreign policy, how the leaders let the country down and what needs to be done to take it forward from the then current abyss. In this book, the leader that has let the country down is, hold your breath, Pandit Nehru. Yes, of all people, how Panditji screwed India’s foreign policy and the aftereffects of that carefully cultivated folly called ‘NAM – Non Aligned Movement’ and the case of mis-placed self-promotion that cost the country dear.

515gbda7zml-_sx315_bo1204203200_No, this is not an anti-Congress book from a BJP writer. For practical purposes, after Vajpayee started to recede from politics due to health reasons, Shourie has never played any role in the BJP. However, his forthrightness and fortitude are all the same.

It begins with Panditji’s lofty ‘ideals’ at the time of independence in 1947, goes on to explain the lies that he imagined to be true and the imaginary position that he commanded in world affairs and therefore chose to ignore the obvious evil, China and its communist upsurge.

Panditji is warned, with great foresight, by Rajendra Prasad, the then President of the Nation, Sardar Patel, the then Home Minister on China’s evil designs. He is repeatedly sent long lists of evidences from different officers of the Indian Government from Sikkim, Arunachal Pradesh, Tibet, Beijing ( then Peking ). Panditji chooses to ignore each and every one of these evidences and letters. In fact, he admonishes the writers of these letters.

It becomes a habit for Panditji to putdown the very officers of the government who choose to do their duties. Officer after officer presents Panditji with the situation on the ground in Tibet, Sikkim, Arunachal Pradesh, Aksai Chin and Lhasa. And every time each of these officers are admonished by Panditji. He puts them down either for their usage of the term ‘communist’ or for the term ‘McMahon Line’. Or otherwise he chides them for some language usage. With these he wishes his hand away from the main problem of China.

The officers repeatedly talk about the issue of China issuing maps that show large parts of Sikkim, Arunachal Pradesh and Tibet as their territory. First he rubbishes them that those were old maps. Later he says the Chinese government doesn’t have time to issue new maps and hence ignore that. And these are exactly the lines spoken by Chou-en-lai, the then Premier of China. And what ever Chou-en-lai says, Panditji repeats.

When opportunity presents itself for Panditji to discuss these issues with Cho-en-lai, he prevaricates. Instead he speaks about Cuba, Algeris, Korean war, the US-Britain imperialism etc.

These, Shourie presents from Panditji’s own letters o his Ambssadors to China, Letters to the Chief Ministers and hid various press conferences. And what we see is that first Pandithi refutes and puts down the questioner, then after some years seems to slightly agree but hide under the garb of ‘socialist thought’ and later only when China attacks in 1962, does he acknowledge the Chinese threat.

And the issue of the Chinese communist threat to India has been there from 1950 onwards.

We also get to know the great debates and questions that happen in Lok Sabha when Panditji is questioned by Prof.N.G.Ranga, Acharya Kripalani and Atal Bijari Vajpayee. Yes, Vajpayee is relentless in his questioning of Panditji on China.

Towards the later part of the book, we get a glimpse of China’s growing hegemony in the world – oil diplomacy, funding diplomacy and later military diplomacy, the way countries in Latin America that are not eligible for IMF loans are provided loans in return for oil favours, the way deep water ports are constructed in Gwadar Pakistan, Sri Lanka almost free of cost with the only condition that China would have first rights for oil transport through these ports, the way oil pipelines have been laid from Burma deep into China, the way Tibetan rivers are diverted to provide water to Central China – all these are explained in great detail with evidence.

And the Chinese way of usurping territory – ignore complaints, silently encroach and set up base and later claim that they had never had any contention in the area under question. The other tactic is ‘murder with borrowed knife’ – arm the enemy’s enemy. And China excels in that.

And what is also explained is the complete policy paralysis in India right from the days of Panditji to the current regime when inaction is eulogized as policy and strategy, ignorance is camouflaged as wisdom and policy paralysis has become the norm.

And towards the end of the book, we get the complete but abysmal picture of the current state of affairs especially with respect to foreign policy ( better that we don’t discuss about the other fronts like Finance, Education etc ).

The book leaves you with a deep sense of shattered national pride.

A must read for every Indian nationalist.

The book can be bought from here.

Staying stupid..

One can become stupid  by being born stupid or one can acquire stupidity by joining the Congress party of India.

The other way is to  listen to this speech of Rahul. And you will turn stupid instantly.

Thus spake the Budhoo Bhagawan and saviour of the masses : ( Italicised writings are my comments )

1.I am a soldier of the Congress. Will do whatever the party wants me to do. (But) Congress constitution says MPs choose the prime minister after elections.

Kindergarten children know that the process of choosing the Prime Minister is written in the electoral laws of the country and   they are in the constitution of the nation. Budhoo, this is not Congress constitution. Think you have constipation.

2.We are warriors, and we will go into battle with our heads held high, knowing what we stand for. I will do anything you want me to, I am a loyal soldier.

Oh ‘do anything ?’. Okay, migrate to South Sudan. They need ‘talents’ there.

3.The Opposition has good marketing skills. There is “chamak, naach, gaana (glitter, dancing, singing)”. They are selling combs to bald men. Now there are a new group of people who are trying to give them haircuts.

From talking about economics, you have come to talk about giving hair cuts. Great way to progress. Learn that skill, Budhoo. Would be useful after elections are over.

4. Laws are being made now by the media, by judges, in the streets – we need to involve you, the elected representatives, once again in law-making. This is your domain.

Yes, let them make laws. You go to giving hair cuts. Kejriwal will accompany you with a broom. you two would make a great pair.

5. Opposition says India should be Congress-free. But Congress is not an organization. It’s a philosophy that stands for the rights and dignity of every individual in this country.

Read what is written in your script properly. Philosophy does not stand for anything. People stand by philosophies. Budhoo, accompany Priyanka’s daughter to school.

6. Democracy is not rule by one man. We don’t hand over the structure of a party to one man.

Correct. It is not by one man. It is like ‘Alibaba and his 40 thieves’. You are correct, finally.

7. We do not respond by subverting democratic institutions, blocking Parliament sessions year after year, day after day.

Very true Budhoo. That is why you appointed men of great integrity for the post of CVC and a woman of the greatest intellect for the post of the President of the nation. I trust you.

8. I want to see 50% women at AICC sessions, in Parliament and among chief ministers of state governments.

Arre Budhoo, first gather 50 people for your sessions. People rush out of meetings when they come to know that you are going to speak.

9. This is not about yet another election; it is a turning point in our nation’s history. The change that is taking place before us is unstoppable.

Correct. Before the change becomes obvious, buy your plane ticket.

Beginners' guide to Stupidity

The Art of being Stupid, as has been exemplified beyond normal human endeavor by Rahul Gandhi,is still part science and part art. And that makes it all the more difficult to master.

So, I thought that it would be better to come up with a guide to let the normally stupid citizens also realize their stupidity and declare themselves so for we are fast becoming a nation of stupids.

You would agreed with me more once you reach the end of this post.

Do you belong to the group of people who believes that you can even today stick to your stand and still be allowed to lead an honorable life after retirement ? Well , then, welcome to the elite world of stupids for it seems that you have not heard of the story of Justice A.K.Ganguly. Well, for the uninitiated, Justice Ganguly was a lesser known judge of the Supreme Court until he began to handle the 2G case. And the manner with which he conducted the proceedings and the manner in which he delivered a stunning judgment never hear of in Indian judicial history, that cancelled all the 125 licenses awarded to the the telecom companies because of the arbitrary manner of spectrum allotment, irked the powers that be. And by powers, you can safely assume those whose surnames rhyme with ‘Sandhi’, ‘Cebal’, ‘Pambaram’ and the like and companies whose names rhyme with ‘Sodaphone’  and the like.

So what happened later ? After an illustrious and un-blemished career spanning 40 years, Justice Ganguly, after his retirement, suddenly found himself in the company of a female law intern when he was in office and suddenly tried some tricks on her in a hotel room. Did you know that he had the ability to travel back in time ?

And how about the law intern ? She also somehow had the ability to travel back in time and realize that the good old Justice had tried to you-know-what with her some years ago in a hotel room. How did she remember that now, all of a sudden, after his retirement and after the 2G case verdict has been delivered ? Well, please update yourself with ‘Time Travel’ written by ‘Sunil Cebal’. And that would initiate your journey towards stupidity just as the prince-in-waiting a.k.a. the Buddhu was initiated into Harvard for all of three months on a donation made by Win Chadha after which he was shown the door. What do you mean “Who is the Buddhu?”. Ask Wamiya Sandhi. Better read her book ‘From Italy to India – the clandestine journey’ available in all ‘Suttorrochchi Stores’ worldwide. You can order online as well via http://www.bankrupt-india.com.

Ok. you are not used to reading heavy stuff ? Well, then there is this easy way to attain supreme stupidity.

There is this book by ‘Pambaram’ titled ‘Dismantling India – 101’  where the highly erudite author explains in great detail the baby steps one needs to take to defraud banks, open more ATMs than there are people in Sivaganga district, the step by step guide to speaking about economics that is understandable to Participatory Notes Dealers alone etc. And don’t miss the chapter on the ‘Art of winning elections’ where he has explained in great detail about the steps to be followed to win an election even if your votes don’t add-up. That chapter alone would justify the cost of the book.

Before I forget, there is this excellent article by ‘Mani Shankar Iyengar’ on developing ones ability to shout the moment you appear on TV. He explains in detail about the steps to be followed to out-shout everybody including the TV anchor. The way he explains the steps to start shouting even before hearing the topic on which you need to shout, shows his professional expertise in shouting that he has developed and honed in the parliament. A must for everybody who is out there to learn to be stupid.

The guide to becoming stupid is never complete without the recommended reading of ‘The Chindu’, especially the sections that talk about China. Yes it is a fact that 90% of the paper is covered with pro-China articles but I have to caution you about not spending your time on the remaining 10%. And do read the ‘Open Page’. You will encounter some highly erudite articles on ‘Un-masking Modi’ ,’Modulating the Modi-mania’ and several such modified articles. Never mind if you miss these on some days. They would appear daily. Only the author would be different. You won’t miss anything.

Reading ‘The Chindu’ daily for about a month would equip you with skills needed for furthering your stupidity index.and would make you eligible to read the highly intellectual ‘Lakshman Chandra Guha’ series on Modi. And do also remember to pick up his ‘India after Sandhi’., the most eminently un-put-downable book ever to have been written in recent times.

Oh, yes before I forget, let me tell you about ‘The God of Minute Things’ by Jarundati Kai’. You will get to know about the rights of naxallites, why dams are harmful, why nuclear power in India will impact Mar’s orbit and similar such matter. You will also know about why the terrorists have more rights to live than the citizens just by going through the index page of the book. And once you complete this book, you automatically qualify the the primary membership of the Communist Party of China.

If all these fail, please try changing your surname to ‘Sandhi’ or ‘Cebal’.

if that too fails, join the Congress Party.

Beginners’ guide to Stupidity

The Art of being Stupid, as has been exemplified beyond normal human endeavor by Rahul Gandhi,is still part science and part art. And that makes it all the more difficult to master.

So, I thought that it would be better to come up with a guide to let the normally stupid citizens also realize their stupidity and declare themselves so for we are fast becoming a nation of stupids.

You would agreed with me more once you reach the end of this post.

Do you belong to the group of people who believes that you can even today stick to your stand and still be allowed to lead an honorable life after retirement ? Well , then, welcome to the elite world of stupids for it seems that you have not heard of the story of Justice A.K.Ganguly. Well, for the uninitiated, Justice Ganguly was a lesser known judge of the Supreme Court until he began to handle the 2G case. And the manner with which he conducted the proceedings and the manner in which he delivered a stunning judgment never hear of in Indian judicial history, that cancelled all the 125 licenses awarded to the the telecom companies because of the arbitrary manner of spectrum allotment, irked the powers that be. And by powers, you can safely assume those whose surnames rhyme with ‘Sandhi’, ‘Cebal’, ‘Pambaram’ and the like and companies whose names rhyme with ‘Sodaphone’  and the like.

So what happened later ? After an illustrious and un-blemished career spanning 40 years, Justice Ganguly, after his retirement, suddenly found himself in the company of a female law intern when he was in office and suddenly tried some tricks on her in a hotel room. Did you know that he had the ability to travel back in time ?

And how about the law intern ? She also somehow had the ability to travel back in time and realize that the good old Justice had tried to you-know-what with her some years ago in a hotel room. How did she remember that now, all of a sudden, after his retirement and after the 2G case verdict has been delivered ? Well, please update yourself with ‘Time Travel’ written by ‘Sunil Cebal’. And that would initiate your journey towards stupidity just as the prince-in-waiting a.k.a. the Buddhu was initiated into Harvard for all of three months on a donation made by Win Chadha after which he was shown the door. What do you mean “Who is the Buddhu?”. Ask Wamiya Sandhi. Better read her book ‘From Italy to India – the clandestine journey’ available in all ‘Suttorrochchi Stores’ worldwide. You can order online as well via http://www.bankrupt-india.com.

Ok. you are not used to reading heavy stuff ? Well, then there is this easy way to attain supreme stupidity.

There is this book by ‘Pambaram’ titled ‘Dismantling India – 101’  where the highly erudite author explains in great detail the baby steps one needs to take to defraud banks, open more ATMs than there are people in Sivaganga district, the step by step guide to speaking about economics that is understandable to Participatory Notes Dealers alone etc. And don’t miss the chapter on the ‘Art of winning elections’ where he has explained in great detail about the steps to be followed to win an election even if your votes don’t add-up. That chapter alone would justify the cost of the book.

Before I forget, there is this excellent article by ‘Mani Shankar Iyengar’ on developing ones ability to shout the moment you appear on TV. He explains in detail about the steps to be followed to out-shout everybody including the TV anchor. The way he explains the steps to start shouting even before hearing the topic on which you need to shout, shows his professional expertise in shouting that he has developed and honed in the parliament. A must for everybody who is out there to learn to be stupid.

The guide to becoming stupid is never complete without the recommended reading of ‘The Chindu’, especially the sections that talk about China. Yes it is a fact that 90% of the paper is covered with pro-China articles but I have to caution you about not spending your time on the remaining 10%. And do read the ‘Open Page’. You will encounter some highly erudite articles on ‘Un-masking Modi’ ,’Modulating the Modi-mania’ and several such modified articles. Never mind if you miss these on some days. They would appear daily. Only the author would be different. You won’t miss anything.

Reading ‘The Chindu’ daily for about a month would equip you with skills needed for furthering your stupidity index.and would make you eligible to read the highly intellectual ‘Lakshman Chandra Guha’ series on Modi. And do also remember to pick up his ‘India after Sandhi’., the most eminently un-put-downable book ever to have been written in recent times.

Oh, yes before I forget, let me tell you about ‘The God of Minute Things’ by Jarundati Kai’. You will get to know about the rights of naxallites, why dams are harmful, why nuclear power in India will impact Mar’s orbit and similar such matter. You will also know about why the terrorists have more rights to live than the citizens just by going through the index page of the book. And once you complete this book, you automatically qualify the the primary membership of the Communist Party of China.

If all these fail, please try changing your surname to ‘Sandhi’ or ‘Cebal’.

if that too fails, join the Congress Party.

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