On being stupid

Stupidity is that trait that can manifest itself in various different ways on a person who chooses to be stupid. Well, I don’t mean those who have decided to vote for the Congress party of India, but in general. However this does not absolve one of his or her stupidity if he or she has decided to vote for the Congress party this year.

Coming to the point, stupidity can manifest itself even if you have not decided to vote for the Congress party.

Let us look at some examples.

The moment you touch down in Chennai’s Anna International Airport, you begin to believe that auto-wallahs ( auto is the choicest epithet that is used to hail a contraption that runs on three wheels , in some cases just on two, but can carry ‘N’ number of passengers at any given point in time not including the driver of the contraption who would have opted to to squeezed in between the passengers ) have refined, taking into consideration the fact that the local government in the state of Tamil Nadu has recently ‘strictly’ enforced the metering of distances traveled by the contraption. And you could even be called the most stupid if you also believe that the auto-drivers would charge you according to the meter. Well, for a difference, the meters exist. And they exist. That is all. When the auto driver asks you if you need either the auto to run or the meter to run, you have no choice but to opt for the former and allow yourself to be carried by the three wheel wonder that runs on two wheels at any given point in time.

And once you start cranking your head out of the three-wheeled-wonder, you begin to see that large balloons start smiling at you. Yes, large balloons that, on a closer look, appear to have two eyes, nose and a mouth and before long you realize that those are the more than life sized images of the different leaders that fluster in from large flex sheets all lined along the roads. Oh what a sight ? You begin to wonder how each one of the different leaders have come to welcome you back to Chennai ?

But there is a problem. Some of the balloons err.. faces are not that pleasant. They are in various degrees of anger. Some express great anger and resentment from behind a facade of full grown beards while others express their anger from behind upwardly looking handlebar mustaches. And in some cases these leaders are clad in army fatigues making you wonder if they have just returned from a stint in the services. But no luck there.

Travel further down and you encounter a grand-dad, father, son, grand-son, grand-daughter, great-grand-daughter dynastic clan looking down upon you from the differently sized banners, each one appearing to laugh at you. You begin to wonder if they have some trick up their sleeve and are probably waiting in anticipation that you would be getting into some trap willingly. And I have often found out that it does make absolutely no sense to decipher what is written in those banners for they are either a repetition from one banner to another or are some hieroglyphics that need special talent to decipher.

Well, assume that you get past all these and enter into the safe confines of your home in Chennai. Then you are audience to a whole list of extended family including neighbours waiting for you clapping their hands. If you are stupid enough to believe that they are lauding your arrival in Chennai, then I have no reason to converse with you. It is elementary to understand that anybody found clapping his hands either in broad day light or in the pitch of darkness are definitely swatting mosquitoes.

And if you are stupid enough not to recognize the national bird, err.. insect, let the devil possess you. Don’t you know that the local municipal corporations have declared  mosquitoes as the national insect and hence are aiding their breeding by spraying the water bodies with reproductive drugs ? Well, if you don’t know that, then let hell be on you and let you be governed by the Congress for ever.

There is definitely a time in your life when you are in India to visit the electricity offices. There is where you expose your stupidity and actually declare that by paying the bill for the electricity not received. You might ask what is shown in the meter. Don’t you now that the numbers shown in the meters are nothing but the dial in number for the local call-in Television programmes ?

Oh, yes, you certify your stupidity when you hear the parliament debates for, the debaters either shout out each other or shout at each other. Either ways, it doesn’t make any difference. And mind it, you are paying them Rs 3000 Crores every time the parliament in in session by way of allowances for the MPs. Allowances for what ? you might ask. Don’t they need to buy throat soothers once their shouting match is over ?

Now let me conclude for I have to declare my stupidity. Yes, you guessed it right. I am going to watch Rahul speak to an audience of Economists.

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