Foolishly yours .. contd

It is too much to ask me to give more examples of my foolishness.

Oh wait a minute. I have been more foolish than what I have stated in my earlier post.

Yes, you guessed it right. I have always believed that Ambedkar, EVR, Anna and the whole series of intellectuals had eradicated casteism from my country until I found out otherwise very soon in life.  Let me elaborate.

Yes, I went to school, was taught by poorly paid yet hardworking teachers and they taught me that, to be casteist was a sin and that caste-ism had been eradicated from the country. Then I wanted to go to college. And they said I could not go to a particularly important college. I asked them the reason. They said that I belonged to a caste whose practitioners had treated many others cruelly two hundred years ago. And they were taking revenge on my forefathers by punishing me. Kapil Sibal would sound like Einstein if this logic could be accepted. And yes George Bush Jr  would be Aristotle.

I never gave up. “But”, I said, ” the constitution says all are equal”. They said, ” Yes, but we have changed it many times to ensure that though it sounds equal to all, it doesn’t act equal”. Weird logic, right ? “No”, they said “social justice”. And I believed in social justice from then on. So don’t you think I am foolish yet ?

You see, my memory keeps failing me. Now I remember this. I have been given to understand that the Sri Lankan Government is a killer government as it killed the ethnic Tamils. I agreed. “But”, I asked, ” the guerrillas killed as many people as the government. Are they not killers?” “No”, they replied, “the rebels are not killers even though they killed the same Tamil populace. They are heroes”. I believed that as well. So, am I not the worst fool yet ?

Not convinced still ? Okay. Let me tell you this. They gave Obama the peace prize as he sounded like speaking for peace. Then what happened ? He kept on speaking. Economic issues ? Speak. Immigration issues ? Speak. Climate Change ? Speak.  Another election ? Speak. Not getting enough sleep ? Speak. And I believed every word of his speech. And continue to do so.

You know what ? Obama in his 2004 DNC speech spoke against snooping. Again repeated his civil liberty tone and lines during the 2008 elections. And once elected to power, started snooping around and listening to my phone. And Snowden broke the story. So the sole human rights custodian , the US, went after him and wanted to arrest him. Freedom of speech? Liberty ? Yes, that is what Obama said and continues to say and I believe him. So, am I not The Fool like a John Grisham title yet ?

Not convinced right ? Here you go. The US stands for democracy, right ? Or that is what Obama wants us to believe like what his predecessors wanted us to believe. And in their noble quest to establish democracy around the world, they have helped establish a sovereign, secular, democratic republic of Saudi Arabia. Didn’t you know that already? When did they establish that ? After establishing “democracy” in Iraq and in Libya and of-course Afghanistan. I believe this and still you don’t want to consider me foolish ?

Excellent. I have this in my defense of foolishness. You know what ? The Reserve Bank of India has recently “allowed” the foreign banks in India to open zero balance accounts as they want these banks to “serve” the rural population. Remember the credit card thugs that used to knock on people’s doors? Now these thugs are going to knock on the hutment doors in rural India. ( They will fail in their mission to knock on the doors of the huts as the huts don’t have doors yet ). And I believe that these foreign banks are going to swarm the rural countryside to help the millions of below poverty line citizens open zero balance accounts and get serviced by English speaking Tellers, not to forget the swanky ATMs. No,no  don’t ask me what good an ATM is when the account has zero balance ? Probably you need to ask Kapil Sibal as he is more acquainted with “zero” than I do.

So, despite all these evidences, if you don’t want to believe that I am the most foolish person available on earth, I would have to declare that you have usurped my position pushing me to the second place in foolishness.

So coming back to the degrees of comparison, I would have to say thus :

I am the second most foolish person available on earth.

There is at least one person that is more foolish than I am.

Foolishly yours

I have decided to acknowledge that I am the worst fool available on earth. No, wait a minute. Do I have competition ? I don’t think so. How could anybody be any more foolish than I am ?

Oh come on, I declare I am the worst fool and you don’t want to believe that ? How would I be able to prove that to you ?

Well , let me try. Would you believe me if I change the degrees of comparison. Okay, let me say so in the different degrees thus:

I am more foolish than any other person available on earth. Yes, this is comparative.

Positive ? Okay. No other fool on earth is even as foolish as I am. Convinced ? Not yet ?

Okay. You want me to substantiate that I am the worst fool by giving  examples, right ?

Well here I am and here are my exploits in foolishness:

For the last 65 years all my Prime Ministers have been eradicating poverty from the country. They have eradicated so much poverty that we have had to borrow poverty from neighboring countries to continue to remain poor. And even after 65 years the Prime Minister has recently said that he was going to eradicate poverty. And I continue to believe that he is in the process of eradicating poverty.

How to import poverty ? Well allow illegal immigration from Bangladesh and continue to remain poor. Satisfied ?

Not yet ? Okay, You know this intellectual  Rahul who is supposed to descend the throne soon ? He has declared that there is no poverty in its physical self and that poverty is just a state of the mind. So I believed him and kept saying to the pavement dweller that poverty was just the state of the mind only to get his “blessings” in the choicest epithets that he had reserved for me. And still I believe that poverty is just a state of mind. Am I not foolish ?

Why alone poverty,  my Finance Ministers for the last 65 years have been improving the economy of the country. I believe that. Even my father believed that. Our belief is so strong that the value of the Indian Rupee that was equal to one dollar in 1947 has remained there. Only that the dollar has appreciated so much now . So what can the Finance Minister do ? He keeps saying that the economy is robust and that the rupee is strong. And I believe him. Come’on he is a Harvard MBA. He knows what is wrong and does that precisely in the wrong manner and explains why he did what he did in so suave a manner that any girl would fall for him. I believed him and continue to believe him. So am I not foolish enough already ?

When the terrorists from across the border target our country, I seek solace from the benign grace of the Home Minister and believe that “he is watching the situation’, ‘observing the scenario’, ‘studying the possibilities’ and ‘observing restraint’. And how much I have been believing him ? And if one Home Minister has “observed the situation too much”, he is replaced by another and he too “observes”, “watches closely”,”monitors” and goes out to make way for another. I continue to believe in each of these and would continue to believe in more of his ilk. Could there be anybody foolish than I am ?

Still not convinced about my foolishness ? Read on..

What would the President of a country do along with Chief Ministers of four big states ? If nothing administrative then what else ? They assemble in a southern city to celebrate 100 years of Tamil Cinema. So what ? All police men from all police stations have been requisitioned for security duty for this group of five people. What about people ? Security for them, is that your question ? Well , God protects the 60 million people of the state. But policemen ? They are to protect the five. From what ? Actually the police assemble in such large number and encircle the five worthies so that no harm comes to the poor people from this five. But I am foolish enough to think that these five people are working for the 60 million while they have arrived in a city to honor a handful of movie stars. Am I not the most foolish yet ?

Fine, I agree you are hard to please. Let me elaborate my foolishness further.

You know Modi, right ? The Chief Minister of the state of Gujarat in India. He has ensured that his state contributes one sixth to the GDP of the entire country. And there are more than 25 states. I think this guy, if he becomes the Prime Minister, will ensure that the GDP and therefore the standard of living of the poor people rises. And I foolishly believed that the intellectuals also would believe so. But that is not the case. So I know that no one can surpass me in my foolishness quotient.

Not convinced, come on. Then ask Kapil Sibal. He has a ‘zero loss” philosophy on anything. Assume your house is burgled in broad day light and your LED TV is stolen. Go to him and say so. He will immediately come out with “What has been lost ? Nothing at all. What was your TV then is somebody else’ now. So where is the loss ? Sigma X is always a constant, elementary my dear citizen”. And that is the ‘zero loss theory” for which he is being recommended for this year’s Nobel for Economics. And I believe him to carry me further in the path of “progress”. So, am I not stupid  ? Well, I am actually being foolish, am I not ?

Not convinced yet ? Well, don’t have time now. Will write to you later.

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