Tag: Rahul

Modi bashing full time

A casual reading of any news paper provides us with a pattern. No, not even reading is required. You just need to glance at the headlines. What you see could be any or all of these.
“Rahul slams Modi”
“Kejriwal attacks Modi”
“V.S.Atchuthaanandan describes Modi as a
slaughterer”
“Sonia picks Modi out for bashing”
“Yechuri blasts Modi”
“Lalu opposes Modi’s development mantra”
“Manmohan decries Modi”
“Chidambaram chides Modi”
“Karunanidhi criticizes Modi”
“Nitish Kumar down plays Modinomics”
“Mani Shankar Iyer equates Modi to a tea-vendor”

One thing is certain. Looking at the pedigree of these people, I suspect there is something common in these people that makes  all of them  dread Modi. They seem to have a common reason to panic it seems.

And that is reason enough for me to support Modi.

Staying stupid..

One can become stupid  by being born stupid or one can acquire stupidity by joining the Congress party of India.

The other way is to  listen to this speech of Rahul. And you will turn stupid instantly.

Thus spake the Budhoo Bhagawan and saviour of the masses : ( Italicised writings are my comments )

1.I am a soldier of the Congress. Will do whatever the party wants me to do. (But) Congress constitution says MPs choose the prime minister after elections.

Kindergarten children know that the process of choosing the Prime Minister is written in the electoral laws of the country and   they are in the constitution of the nation. Budhoo, this is not Congress constitution. Think you have constipation.

2.We are warriors, and we will go into battle with our heads held high, knowing what we stand for. I will do anything you want me to, I am a loyal soldier.

Oh ‘do anything ?’. Okay, migrate to South Sudan. They need ‘talents’ there.

3.The Opposition has good marketing skills. There is “chamak, naach, gaana (glitter, dancing, singing)”. They are selling combs to bald men. Now there are a new group of people who are trying to give them haircuts.

From talking about economics, you have come to talk about giving hair cuts. Great way to progress. Learn that skill, Budhoo. Would be useful after elections are over.

4. Laws are being made now by the media, by judges, in the streets – we need to involve you, the elected representatives, once again in law-making. This is your domain.

Yes, let them make laws. You go to giving hair cuts. Kejriwal will accompany you with a broom. you two would make a great pair.

5. Opposition says India should be Congress-free. But Congress is not an organization. It’s a philosophy that stands for the rights and dignity of every individual in this country.

Read what is written in your script properly. Philosophy does not stand for anything. People stand by philosophies. Budhoo, accompany Priyanka’s daughter to school.

6. Democracy is not rule by one man. We don’t hand over the structure of a party to one man.

Correct. It is not by one man. It is like ‘Alibaba and his 40 thieves’. You are correct, finally.

7. We do not respond by subverting democratic institutions, blocking Parliament sessions year after year, day after day.

Very true Budhoo. That is why you appointed men of great integrity for the post of CVC and a woman of the greatest intellect for the post of the President of the nation. I trust you.

8. I want to see 50% women at AICC sessions, in Parliament and among chief ministers of state governments.

Arre Budhoo, first gather 50 people for your sessions. People rush out of meetings when they come to know that you are going to speak.

9. This is not about yet another election; it is a turning point in our nation’s history. The change that is taking place before us is unstoppable.

Correct. Before the change becomes obvious, buy your plane ticket.

So who is the worst fool ?

Last couple of days I have been searching and blogging my search about who the worst fool was in India. I thought I was the worst fool. Then I came across this. I have no further comments. I give up my position. I stand defeated. I accept his victory. I am no match before this ‘erudition’. And Manmohan-ji wants to work under this ‘erudition’.

Simply put: There is no competition to the first position on foolishness and stupidity. Here is the evidence. I won’t name the person. Find it out for yourself !!

( The quotations are from Speakingtree.in and the comments in italics are mine)

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CII summit, New Delhi (April 2013)

“There is a tendency to look at India as a country. If you go back 1,000 or 2,000 years, India is actually energy. It is a force. It came from Ganga, Yamuna, Saraswati. As this energy goes abroad, you are our people who will tell everyone what this energy is all about. It’s this energy that’s driving us”.

Now you know where energy comes from, dear reader. Learn from the Oracle.

Interaction with professionals, Ahmedabad (Feb 2009)

“Gujarat is bigger than the United Kingdom, to give you an idea. In fact, India is bigger than Europe and the United States put together”.

Now you know your Geography, dear reader. Learn from the genius.

Speech on nuke deal in Parliament (March 2009)

“I spoke about two poor families – one of them was called Mrs Kala. Mrs Kala said she had diversified her income sources and used that to bring up her nine children. Nuclear energy acts as Kala’s main crop. The problem is the way our nuclear industry is positioned. Our scientists are tied because they do not have fuel, investment and technology. I’m proud to say Prime Minister Manmohan Singh has recognised the problem as well as the potential solution”.

Sorry. Didn’t understand anything. Let me know if you did.

Interaction with media, Kolkata (Sept 2013)

“Politics is everywhere. It’s in your shirt, your pants. Politics is everywhere. That is the problem with youngsters these days. This is a fundamental problem and we are trying to solve this problem”.

Now , dear reader, what is inside your clothes. Know your biology, reader. And that is why they say ,”don’t play politics !”

Reaction to Anna Hazare’s agitation at Ram Lila Maidan, New Delhi (Aug 2011)

“The real question is can we take up the battle against corruption? There are no simple solutions. It requires a firm political will. Annaji has expressed the same sentiments. The question before us is whether we are prepared to take corruption head on. Lokpal Bill cannot be a substitute to fighting corruption”.

Let me know what he means. Does he support or oppose Annaji ?

Chairing a talk on future of the Internet, JNU campus, New Delhi Jan 2013)

“Stop asking politicians what they would do. Start asking yourself what you would do. That’s how the country will move forward”.

Dear reader, please, don’t bang your head on the wall. I know it hurts reading the above.

A meeting with students of LN Mishra university, Darbhanga, Bihar (Aug 2011)

“If the country has to change, Gujarat has to change – a comment that sparked an uproar and resulted in his exiting the meeting midway. His correction: ‘Galti se Gujarat bol diya Bihar ke bajaaye’ (By mistake I said Gujarat instead of Bihar)”.

Dear reader, know your India. Bihar is where Gujarat is. Bang hard on the wall.

Indian Institute of Information Technology convocation, Amethi (Nov 2011)

“I would like to talk about the big picture. Here’s the big picture. When we started 60 years ago, we were not connected. No roads, no schools and no healthcare. Villages were not speaking to each other. The energy of India, which lies within people, was not talking to each other. We’ve been able to connect Indians. We started out as a poor nation where everybody was poor”.

Reader, here is the revelation. We started as a poor nation as we were poor and continue to remain poor as we started poor as we were a nation of poor which was because the people were too poor to start rich. Bang hard on the wall, man.

CII summit, New Delhi (April 2013)

“There are people doing yoga in New York and dancing around, that’s Indian power. You go to a night club somewhere in Spain and there’s Amitabh Bachchan on the screen there, dancing around. That’s the power of India. That’s the power of Indian people”.

Reader, know your Indian power. The man goes to night club and wants to rule you. Bang more, the wall is still intact.

Congress workshop on social media, New Delhi

“If India is a computer, Congress is its default program. Congress comes natural to India’s ethos. Here, anger and aggression are not appreciated”.

Reader, now you know why the computer wouldn’t start.

CII summit, New Delhi (April 2013)

“Optimism for me is like India. It is bursting with dreams and fearless ideas, brave ideas. Millions and millions of youngsters are struggling every day with optimism”.

Reader, do you know how to struggle with optimism? Don’t know ? So, bang your head hard on every available wall.

CII summit, New Delhi (April 2013)

“We have to provide the roads on which our dreams are paved. And these roads can’t have potholes. They can’t break down in six months. They have to be big roads because they are going to carry strong people, strong forces”.

Reader, learn to build roads, man. He has earlier asked you to ask yourself and propel yourself forward. So build roads, go forward and bang repeatedly on the wall.

A reaction just after the Mumbai attacks (July 2011)

“It is difficult to prevent every single terror attack. If the US can’t prevent terror attacks, how can we? The war is taking place. Not in the US, but on them. The war has moved. They are losing people in Afghanistan. We can stop 99 per cent of attacks, but one per cent may get through”.

Let me know if you understand this chinese script. Bang, bang..

Chairing a talk by Internet founder Vint Cerf, JNU, New Delhi (Jan 2013)

“Every situation that Indian person finds himself in is extremely complex. We have to deal with the red lights. As young leaders here have to deal with senior with senior leaders, suddenly someone disrupts your entire life. Everything happens, sort of, according to your karma, it’s all random”.

Dear reader, time to get admitted in the nearest mental asylum.Book a bed for me too.

CII summit, New Delhi (April 2013)

“We need to empower everybody, not one person, not almost everybody, but everybody”.

Dear reader, get ready to be empowered by the reader, err.. leader. Bang bang..

CII summit, New Delhi (April 2013)

“I went to University in 1991. I remember nobody thought of India. I remember conversations where people would laugh and say, ‘Do you have elephants on the road?’ Nobody is saying that today. A huge part of it is because of you people”.

Reader, please don’t walk on the road. Elephants are stranded. Bang bang..

During a talk in Allahabad on ‘Culture, Deepening Democracy and Most Marginalised Communities’ (Aug 2013)

“Poverty is a state of mind. It does not mean the scarcity of food, money or material things. If one possesses self-confidence, then one can overcome poverty”.

Dear Reader, if you have reached here, then most probably you are an in-patient in the Government Mental Hospital, Kilpauk, Chennai as there is nothing else you can be once you go through these highly erudite quotations. And the one on your left is myself. But who is the one on your right ? Refer the title of this post.

Foolishly yours .. contd

It is too much to ask me to give more examples of my foolishness.

Oh wait a minute. I have been more foolish than what I have stated in my earlier post.

Yes, you guessed it right. I have always believed that Ambedkar, EVR, Anna and the whole series of intellectuals had eradicated casteism from my country until I found out otherwise very soon in life.  Let me elaborate.

Yes, I went to school, was taught by poorly paid yet hardworking teachers and they taught me that, to be casteist was a sin and that caste-ism had been eradicated from the country. Then I wanted to go to college. And they said I could not go to a particularly important college. I asked them the reason. They said that I belonged to a caste whose practitioners had treated many others cruelly two hundred years ago. And they were taking revenge on my forefathers by punishing me. Kapil Sibal would sound like Einstein if this logic could be accepted. And yes George Bush Jr  would be Aristotle.

I never gave up. “But”, I said, ” the constitution says all are equal”. They said, ” Yes, but we have changed it many times to ensure that though it sounds equal to all, it doesn’t act equal”. Weird logic, right ? “No”, they said “social justice”. And I believed in social justice from then on. So don’t you think I am foolish yet ?

You see, my memory keeps failing me. Now I remember this. I have been given to understand that the Sri Lankan Government is a killer government as it killed the ethnic Tamils. I agreed. “But”, I asked, ” the guerrillas killed as many people as the government. Are they not killers?” “No”, they replied, “the rebels are not killers even though they killed the same Tamil populace. They are heroes”. I believed that as well. So, am I not the worst fool yet ?

Not convinced still ? Okay. Let me tell you this. They gave Obama the peace prize as he sounded like speaking for peace. Then what happened ? He kept on speaking. Economic issues ? Speak. Immigration issues ? Speak. Climate Change ? Speak.  Another election ? Speak. Not getting enough sleep ? Speak. And I believed every word of his speech. And continue to do so.

You know what ? Obama in his 2004 DNC speech spoke against snooping. Again repeated his civil liberty tone and lines during the 2008 elections. And once elected to power, started snooping around and listening to my phone. And Snowden broke the story. So the sole human rights custodian , the US, went after him and wanted to arrest him. Freedom of speech? Liberty ? Yes, that is what Obama said and continues to say and I believe him. So, am I not The Fool like a John Grisham title yet ?

Not convinced right ? Here you go. The US stands for democracy, right ? Or that is what Obama wants us to believe like what his predecessors wanted us to believe. And in their noble quest to establish democracy around the world, they have helped establish a sovereign, secular, democratic republic of Saudi Arabia. Didn’t you know that already? When did they establish that ? After establishing “democracy” in Iraq and in Libya and of-course Afghanistan. I believe this and still you don’t want to consider me foolish ?

Excellent. I have this in my defense of foolishness. You know what ? The Reserve Bank of India has recently “allowed” the foreign banks in India to open zero balance accounts as they want these banks to “serve” the rural population. Remember the credit card thugs that used to knock on people’s doors? Now these thugs are going to knock on the hutment doors in rural India. ( They will fail in their mission to knock on the doors of the huts as the huts don’t have doors yet ). And I believe that these foreign banks are going to swarm the rural countryside to help the millions of below poverty line citizens open zero balance accounts and get serviced by English speaking Tellers, not to forget the swanky ATMs. No,no  don’t ask me what good an ATM is when the account has zero balance ? Probably you need to ask Kapil Sibal as he is more acquainted with “zero” than I do.

So, despite all these evidences, if you don’t want to believe that I am the most foolish person available on earth, I would have to declare that you have usurped my position pushing me to the second place in foolishness.

So coming back to the degrees of comparison, I would have to say thus :

I am the second most foolish person available on earth.

There is at least one person that is more foolish than I am.

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