Dear brother from minority community

I am pained beyond belief to have seen a three minute video of two religious heads of a religious denomination spewing venom on Prime Minister Modi and BJP leader Amit Shah.

One has the right to his own opinion. But as a religious leader, one has the responsibility not to fall prey to crowd induced euphoria and (mis)direct followers in a particular direction.
In this case, the two were asking the followers to chant a certain name for the downfall of PM Modi. All this, in a meeting called to ask for a secular item – water.

One preacher even went to the extent of asking how could Kanyakumari have an enemy of the majority community in the constituency, as its MP? He further said that had the community chosen an MP from its own religious denomination, the Inaiyam port would not have happened.

I know that leaders of minority communities (mis)direct gullible followers to vote in a particular pattern. But until now these have happened inside places of worship and congregation. But a preacher spreading such a message in an open forum is an ominous sign.

My appeal to brothers & sisters in the minority community:

Go ahead and don’t vote for Prime Minister Modi, vote for Rahul Gandhi or even Karunanidhi. But, do so on your own volition. Don’t let devious preachers herd you as cattle, for they are acting to fulfil their master’s wishes – this time it is money, foreign governments and mercenaries.

My dear brothers and sisters in the minority community: We have been brothers and sisters until now. Preachers come and preachers go, but we are brothers for ever. Don’t let the chord of trust break.

When your preacher calls your elected representative an enemy of your community, they are not only insulting the member of parliament, but are also deriding the collective wisdom of the people who have voted the person and made him their representative.

Time to get out of the preacher’s spells and think for yourselves. Your preacher has no business directing your secular thought. In fact, it is your right not to be directed, in a particular way, to exercise your constitutionally given right.

Never were P.C.Alexander, K.M.Cherian, Abdul Kalam, George Fernandes, Varghese Kurien et al seen in their religious shades. They were seen as exemplary citizens and role models for every one to emulate. Let us build more of this lot and less of the preacher (c)lot, for the latter are parasites that feast on communal divisions and societal disruptions.

Breaking trust is easy. Tearing down communities is easier. Rebuilding is difficult. Don’t let our pluralistic society become a polarised one. #VandeMaataram.

வழுக்கி விழுந்தவர்கள்

மோடி திருச்சி வந்ததால் பா.ஜ.க.விற்கு என்ன பலனோ தெரியாது. ஆனால் நமக்கு, சாதாரண மக்களுக்கு, ஒரு நல்ல பலன் கிடைத்துள்ளது.  சிலரது முகமூடிகள் கிழிந்துள்ளன. சிலர் கீழே விழுந்துள்ளார்கள். சிலரது உண்மை சுயரூபங்கள் தெரியத் துவங்கியுள்ளது. ஆனால் அதில் சில வருத்தங்கள் எனக்கு.

மோடி பிரதம வேட்பாளராக அறிவிக்கப்பட்ட உடனேயே ஆர்ப்பரித்து எழுந்த ‘முற்போக்கு’ வியாபாரிகள் கொஞ்சம் கொஞ்சமாக தங்களது முகங்களைக் காட்டத் துவங்கினர்.

இது எல்லாம் நாம் எதிர்பார்த்தது தான் என்றாலும், ஒரு மனிதரது வீழ்ச்சி என்னை ரொம்பவும் துக்கம் கொள்ள வைத்தது. அவர் எழுத்தாளர் ஞாநி அவர்கள். 2G விஷயத்தில் மிகச் சரியாக அலசி உண்மை பேசியவர் ஞாநி. 1988 லேயே கூடங்குளம் அணு உலைக்கு எதிராகக் கோஷம் எழுப்பியவர் ; அன்றிலிருந்து இன்றுவரை அந்நிலையில் இருந்து வழுவாது போராடிவருபவர் ; அந்த இயக்கம் கிறித்தவப் பாதிரியார்கள் வசம் போய் தேசத்ரோக நடவடிக்கை என்னும் அளவில் அவர்கள் செயல்படத் துவங்கியபோதும் தன் நேர்மையான அணுகுமுறையால் தனியாகத் தெரிந்தவர் ஞாநி. ( அணு உலை வேண்டும் என்பதே என் கருத்து. 13,000 கோடி ரூபாயை எள்ளும் தண்ணீருமாக ஆக்க நாம் என்ன அவ்வளவு பெரிய வல்லரசா ? )

அவரது பேச்சுக்களில் ஒரு அறம் இருக்கும். சென்றமுறை அவர் சிங்கை வந்திருந்தபோது சுமார் இரண்டரை மணி நேரம் அவருடன் பல விஷயங்கள் குறித்துப் பேசி இருக்கிறேன். மிகவும் வெளிப்படையான மனிதர். எளிதில் அணுகிவிடக் கூடியவர். எல்லா விஷயங்களிலும் ஒரு தீர்மானமான கருத்து உண்டு அவரிடம். அவற்றில் ஒரு நேர்மையும் ஒரு அவசரம் இல்லாமையும் இருந்தது கண்டிருக்கிறேன். அந்த சந்திப்பு பற்றி இங்கே பதிவிட்டிருக்கிறேன்.

ஆனால், நேற்று மோதி பேசத் துவங்கியதும் முகநூலில் (Facebook) பதிவுகள் போடத் துவங்கிவிட்டார். மோதி ஹிந்தியில் பேசுகிறார், ப.ஜ.க.ஹிந்தி திணிப்பு, பாசிசம் என்கிற ரீதியில் அள்ளித் தெளித்த கோலமாக இருந்தது அவரது பதிவுகள். ஒரு சமயம் பதிவிடுவது ஞாநியா அல்லது வீரமணியா என்று குழம்பும் அளவு இருந்தது நிலைமை.  அப்பதிவுகளில் சில :

ஞாநி சங்கரன்”Modi opens his mouth and Trichy and speaks in ….Hindi. so, if BJP under modi comes to power they will be shameless in imposing hindi. modi knows english. that is the link language promised for the south india by Nehru. but he chooses to speak in hindi. and poor h.raja keeps blinking listening to modi and wondering how to translate this hindi. by speaking in hindi, in one single stroke modi has dug the grave for his party in tamilnadu.i still hope that someone on the dais would tell him to switch over to english. all TN bjp leaders must be feeling like on a mass harakiri.and what they dont understad is speaking few tamil lines written down in hindi will not wash. every north indian leader does that as a ritual. but most of them speak in english if they know english but for BJP using few tamil lines is only tokenism and the real agenda is only hindi. bjp is known for using tokenism with minorities also but the real agenda is hindutva at any cost.”

ஞாநி சங்கரன் “I write in both languages depending on the issue. Since modi Ian all India nuisance, I write about him in English.”

பதிவுகளில் உள்ள அவசரம் என்ன? காழ்ப்புணர்ச்சி என்ன? யாரையோ மகிழ்விக்கச் செய்யும் ஒரு செயல் போல் பட்டது எனக்கு.

ஹிந்தியில் பேசிவிட்டால்தான் என்ன? தமிழ் மொழிமாற்று தான் நடந்ததே. அல்லது ஆங்கிலத்தில் பேசாததால் மோதியின் செய்தி எல்லா மக்களிடமும் போய்ச்சேராதே என்ற கவலையா ?

மோதியைக் கொள்கை ரீதியாக எதிர்ப்பது ஒரு தரம். ஆனால் நாலாந்தர திராவிடர் கழக பாணியில் விமர்சிப்பது அழகா?

மோதி என்ன பேசினார் என்பதைப்பற்றி ஒன்றுமே இல்லை. அவர் தேச ஒற்றுமை, ராணுவ வீரர் மறைவு, இளைஞர் எழுச்சி, வந்தே மாதரம் என்று தேசிய மொழி பேசினார். ஆனால் ஞாநி, வீரமணியின் ஆங்கில ஒலிபரப்பி போல் மிகக் குறுகிய வட்டத்திற்குள் தன்னைச் சுருக்கிக்கொண்டு மோடி தூஷனை, ஹிந்தி அரக்கி ஒழிக என்ற ரீதியில் எழுதியது  ,”அடடே, இவரா இப்படிப் பேசுகிறார்?” என்று நினைக்க வைத்தது. என்ன ஒரு வீழ்ச்சி !

வழுக்கி விழுந்தவர்கள் பட்டியலில் ஞாநி அவர்களைச் சேர்க்க மனம் வரவில்லை. ஆனால் உண்மை வேறாக உள்ளதே !

No visa to Modi please, Mr.Obama

Dear Mr.President ,

I am sure you don’t know me. Never mind. I am from the country where your mentor’s mentor lived. Yes, India.

And yes, here is where we have this wily politician, the mass murderer Modi who does not deserve the visa to your country. Please continue with this policy of not granting him visa. I will tell you why in a short while.

I have often heard you speaking to your folks about the need to create more jobs in the USA and to ensure that more children go to colleges. I shall tell you how you can achieve that in a matter of one year or so. I will tell you how.

First things first.

Modi – This guy is not definitely worth the USA. First, he is not highly educated from the Stanfords and the Harvards of the world. He speaks passable Hindi – Hindi you know the language that the illiterates and the un-English speak in India – it is of no use to your economy anyways.

Second, he says all are equal. How obnoxious ? He says Muslims should not get special treatment. He further says that people should integrate and think as a nation. How dare he says so. He believes in equality, Sir. He says, for him it doesn’t matter if Hindus prosper or Muslims prosper as long as Gujarat prospers, he is fine. What a fanatic he is !

You know something ? When the USA was under severe recession ( however Ben Bernanke would want to call it – economic down turn, slow-down, technical recession , I am not an economist and don’t have the ability to confuse people ) and General Motors was supposed to be wound up, its plant in Gujarat was exporting cars and was paying for its American workers. So, better let Modi stay in India to ensure that GM-America runs even if Detroit goes bankrupt.

This guy Modi, you know, has brought in 24×7 power to all of Gujarat’s villages. And Asia’s largest solar plant also has started functioning. And of all things, his state Gujarat generates more power that India cannot consume and hence Pakistan wants to take it. C’mon, he wants to export power to Pakistan. What a moron he is !

You know what – he is obsessed with progress, growth, development – he even says “Development” when he wants to say ,”Get me a cup of coffee”. Anyways you don’t want a guy who says he just needs six chapattis for a day and be done with it.

So, you want to give a tough fight to Michelle when she stands for President, then take the risk and give Modi his visa now that you don’t have a third term. You know, this guy is often praised by Industrialists like your Republicans are propped by industrial houses.

This guy Modi is actually unbearable. He speaks and at the same time does. If Tata and Birla are driven out from, say West Bengal, they need to got to Gujarat right? Where else can they go? Bihar and UP are so developed that they cannot go there. So we need Modi to help Tata and Birla relocate to Gujarat. Who knows when Mamta would become angry ?

I keep my word. I come to employment for the Americans. How to create jobs for them ? How to make sure children go to schools ? How to ensure your IRS works ? Here comes the Indian expertise. I have a cream team that will make things work for you. They have made wonders in India. So they are your material.

They are :

1. Sonia Gandhi – Standing example of an illiterate who can work wonders. The Rural Employment Guarantee Scheme that she brought in has made all under clothed and under-fed Indians proud owners of INR 100 without doing any job. Before I forget, she is the Mother of the super intellectual about whom we shall see now.

2. Rahul Gandhi – Yes, the child prodigy who was educated in America in not sure what it is . Has the uncanny ability to lose each and every election. has great skill to irritate voters. Would be a worthy plant inside the Republican party. His mere presence will ensure that they are defeated. And what does he know ? Is that a question ? My God, he doesn’t know what he doesn’t know. And that is an understatement.

3. Digvijay Singh – Don’t ask me who he is. Stop kidding. He has an opinion on everything and is the walking encyclopedia who speaks often on behalf of No 1 and No 2. Plant him in the Congress ( this time the American Congress ) and no body else shall be able to stand up and oppose your policies. And he has already found out that the Boston bombers are from the Ukrainian shakha of the RSS.

4. Kapil Sibal – The erudite, scholarly minister-of-what I don’t know. But you can be sure of one thing. He will quickly find out that there is “Zero Loss” to the US exchequer because of recession. You can even expect findings from him that George Bush never existed and George Washington migrated from Saudi etc.

5. Chidambaram – Probable candidate to replace Ben Bernanke. You know this Harvard or Stanford scholar is so smooth talking that you begin to fall in love with his cheeks. Don’t ever try to listen to him. Else you would need psychiatric treatment. Oh yes, this guy should be made to make statements when markets are up. They will fall as soon as he closes his mouth. Don’t you know his track record ? In 2005 0ne dollar could buy just 37 Rupees. Now it can buy 60 Rupees. Never underestimate him.

6. Karunanidhi – You wanted better universities right? Here he is. You know what , he invented a language called Tamil. Has the great capacity to have multiple opinions on anything all at the same time. Would be helpful to you to explain away the Guantanamo fiasco. Oh yes, in case you want to confuse the people on a policy matter of yours, make him speak to the press. CNN and Fox would wind up the next day.

Take an example: Drone attacks in Pak. He would say ,”So what? Did not Reagan bomb Libya? If bomb by Republican is okay, then why not by a democrat? Is it because Reagan was a “Mount Road Mahavishnu? Why did Wright Brothers invent the plane at all ? That is why drones are here. Go and ask them”. Mr.President, did you get his skills ?

7. Maran Brothers – Here is the deal. You take all the above 1 to 6, and you get two brothers for free. Yes, these are the guys who will make the NASA fly their shuttles again. Funding ? No problem. They are coming over to the USA to fund the U.S. Treasury, Mr.President. Come closer, let me tell you something – once they are there, CNN, Fox, CNBC, Bloomberg TV and what ever channels you have got would somehow find themselves under the SUN TV group. The only channel left out would be the English Channel because it is nit a T.V.Channel. And yes, Continental, Delta and all sundry airlines would be under the umbrella group Spice Jet. Integration, you see.

8. Montek Singh Ahluvalia – You need people to find out how much an American needs to live ? Here is the guy. He will probably find that Americans can live under fifty cents a day. Sounds bizzare ? That is Montek for you. Take him in and Jay Leno would be looking for a job soon. Such a hilarious person has never existed on earth.

9. Man Mohan Singh – Yes. You need the best of actors for Hollywood right ? Here he is who has been acting as the Prime Minister of India for the last 9 years without uttering a word. Take him in. Hollywood wouldn’t regret.

10. No, don’t ask for Kanimozhi please. We need serious comedy in India. We can’t let go of her. Her uncanny ability to masquerade as a poetess while functioning as a business person striking deals with scamsters all the while indulging in scams and also being the mother of a ten year old boy – gosh. Such a talent you will never get. But you still insist on her ? Ok, I let her go with much reluctance.

Oh yes, there are others too – Barkha Dutt, Arnob Goswami, Rajdeep Sardesai and his wife. But they are going to Pakistan boss. I don’t see any other way of destroying Pakistan.

What do you mean Mani Shankar Iyer? He is the Citizen of Pakistan. Have you ever seen Mani speaking for India? If you want him, talk to Nawaz Sheriff.

No, no. We need Renuka Chaudhuri. With Sonia Gandhi going to America, we need another “empty inside the head” to head the Congress.

I admire you, Mr.President. You are intelligent. So you know that Modi, the minion, is not needed in the USA.

So, please take the other ten people even if they have not applied for a visa. Bill Gates and Warren Buffet would be in the streets soon.

Thanks

Right Off Center

Some tips to ‘Justice’ Katju

Dear Mr.Katju,

I know that I would not be committing any contempt of court by writing to you. Though I know that you have retired. But the fun is you don’t know that you are retired and so continue to write judgments in cases that are not in your jurisdiction.

From your press utterances and television interviews and your rather frequent articles in The Hindu, I have come to understand that you are a great human being and that your forgiving heart is so vast that you have the ability to forgive  even the aliens that are likely to invade earth some years from now.

Having known your large heart and your boundless and limitless love of humanity, I would like to draw your attention to some cases that would have escaped your attention.( yes, your recent letter to the Chief Justice asking for pardon for Sanjay Dutt for holding weapons of mass termination prompted me to write this letter. )

I know I would have been mauled by now if you were still in service. Now that you are working full time for the Congress after your retirement and having observed your utterances on many issues, here are some tips for you to keep yourself engaged:

2G – Kanimozhi. As you might know, Ms.Kanimozhi ( Kani for short ) is the epitome of tamil womanhood. She has been unfortunate enough to have been born to the leader of world Tamils ( which world, you should not ask ). And she is the only woman poet that the Tamil world has. And her stance on Tamils of Sri Lanka, one cannot ask. She has an opinion on anything and only she knows what she would say on something. And she is the only female politician in Tamil Nadu that speaks English other than Jayalalithaa. With such venerable talent storehouse, we were a bit laid back and hence she did those things that had happened in 2G that she was not aware of. So there has been this conspiracy to defame a woman just because she has been the daughter of my Tamil leader. Additionally, she is also the mother of a son and the wife of a husband. Hence she is more than equipped to be pardoned and released.

The Rajiv Killers – What did they do ? They helped the actual killers. So what, they did not kill right ? So why hang them ? Already a couple of decades have passed. So why not pardon them and establish the supreme motherly love of Bharatha Maatha ?

The Dharmapuri Bus burning case – there are three death sentence convicts. You see they did not set fire to the students who were killed. They set fire to the bus ( mostly dilapidated in my state ) and the students were inside the bus. Why were the students inside the bus ? If so how could anyone complete his historic duty of burning a bus ? I know this would sound logical to you. Please write for their pardon too.

Please ask for Pardon for the 5 year old’s rapist. After all what has he done? He has just violated a child. When you had sought pardon for Sanjay Dutt who has two AK 47s, why not for this ‘Bihari’ gentleman ? 

I know your ‘dharmic’ thoughts on mercy. Hence please start fighting against mosquito extinguishers like Tortoise and the other brands. How could one extinguish mosquitoes? Mosquitoes have as much rights to live in the country as we have. Hence please let your judicial acumen play savior to the mosquitoes of the world.

And please don’t forget the cockroach repellent companies. Seek a ban on the cockroach killers and the other pesticide manufacturers.

Please seek a ban on all the following festivals – Deepavali, Sankaranthi, Ram navami, Janmaashtami. Are we not a secular nation ? We need to celebrate just the Independence Day and Republic Day. And of course Christmas and Id. That is the way to strengthen secularism. I am surprised how this has escaped your attention.

Then there is this horrible Modi. He keeps talking of governance, transparency, good administration, growth, GDP, education etc. All these are anathema to our democracy. Please ensure that he is ostracized completely. I know the English Press is on the job. But your legal acumen would help.

Please ensure that the ‘Friday Features’ section of The Hindu is not published. They talk about Indian culture ( read hinduism ), classical dance( read hindu hegemony ),  religious discourses ( read brahmin hegemony) and the like. You know what – they have even started publishing pictures of hindu temples and are writing articles on temple restoration and those obnoxious ideas. Make sure that the editorial team takes over the Friday Features as well. That will make the paper a truly Chinese paper published from Chennai. Easy way out is for you to take over the Editorial position in the paper. That would complete the full circle.

You see, I have not spoken about eradicating corruption, nepotism, family rule, dynastic politics  etc thus proving that I belong to the same political party as you do.Being compatriots, I earnestly believe that your good offices would be put to better use in the coming times.

With great expectations

A co-worker of the Grand Old Party( like you )

Some tips to 'Justice' Katju

Dear Mr.Katju,

I know that I would not be committing any contempt of court by writing to you. Though I know that you have retired. But the fun is you don’t know that you are retired and so continue to write judgments in cases that are not in your jurisdiction.

From your press utterances and television interviews and your rather frequent articles in The Hindu, I have come to understand that you are a great human being and that your forgiving heart is so vast that you have the ability to forgive  even the aliens that are likely to invade earth some years from now.

Having known your large heart and your boundless and limitless love of humanity, I would like to draw your attention to some cases that would have escaped your attention.( yes, your recent letter to the Chief Justice asking for pardon for Sanjay Dutt for holding weapons of mass termination prompted me to write this letter. )

I know I would have been mauled by now if you were still in service. Now that you are working full time for the Congress after your retirement and having observed your utterances on many issues, here are some tips for you to keep yourself engaged:

2G – Kanimozhi. As you might know, Ms.Kanimozhi ( Kani for short ) is the epitome of tamil womanhood. She has been unfortunate enough to have been born to the leader of world Tamils ( which world, you should not ask ). And she is the only woman poet that the Tamil world has. And her stance on Tamils of Sri Lanka, one cannot ask. She has an opinion on anything and only she knows what she would say on something. And she is the only female politician in Tamil Nadu that speaks English other than Jayalalithaa. With such venerable talent storehouse, we were a bit laid back and hence she did those things that had happened in 2G that she was not aware of. So there has been this conspiracy to defame a woman just because she has been the daughter of my Tamil leader. Additionally, she is also the mother of a son and the wife of a husband. Hence she is more than equipped to be pardoned and released.

The Rajiv Killers – What did they do ? They helped the actual killers. So what, they did not kill right ? So why hang them ? Already a couple of decades have passed. So why not pardon them and establish the supreme motherly love of Bharatha Maatha ?

The Dharmapuri Bus burning case – there are three death sentence convicts. You see they did not set fire to the students who were killed. They set fire to the bus ( mostly dilapidated in my state ) and the students were inside the bus. Why were the students inside the bus ? If so how could anyone complete his historic duty of burning a bus ? I know this would sound logical to you. Please write for their pardon too.

Please ask for Pardon for the 5 year old’s rapist. After all what has he done? He has just violated a child. When you had sought pardon for Sanjay Dutt who has two AK 47s, why not for this ‘Bihari’ gentleman ? 

I know your ‘dharmic’ thoughts on mercy. Hence please start fighting against mosquito extinguishers like Tortoise and the other brands. How could one extinguish mosquitoes? Mosquitoes have as much rights to live in the country as we have. Hence please let your judicial acumen play savior to the mosquitoes of the world.

And please don’t forget the cockroach repellent companies. Seek a ban on the cockroach killers and the other pesticide manufacturers.

Please seek a ban on all the following festivals – Deepavali, Sankaranthi, Ram navami, Janmaashtami. Are we not a secular nation ? We need to celebrate just the Independence Day and Republic Day. And of course Christmas and Id. That is the way to strengthen secularism. I am surprised how this has escaped your attention.

Then there is this horrible Modi. He keeps talking of governance, transparency, good administration, growth, GDP, education etc. All these are anathema to our democracy. Please ensure that he is ostracized completely. I know the English Press is on the job. But your legal acumen would help.

Please ensure that the ‘Friday Features’ section of The Hindu is not published. They talk about Indian culture ( read hinduism ), classical dance( read hindu hegemony ),  religious discourses ( read brahmin hegemony) and the like. You know what – they have even started publishing pictures of hindu temples and are writing articles on temple restoration and those obnoxious ideas. Make sure that the editorial team takes over the Friday Features as well. That will make the paper a truly Chinese paper published from Chennai. Easy way out is for you to take over the Editorial position in the paper. That would complete the full circle.

You see, I have not spoken about eradicating corruption, nepotism, family rule, dynastic politics  etc thus proving that I belong to the same political party as you do.Being compatriots, I earnestly believe that your good offices would be put to better use in the coming times.

With great expectations

A co-worker of the Grand Old Party( like you )