Yes. The grand icon has been elevated to the level of M.K.Gandhi. The University of Madras ( should it be Mad-Rascals ?) has hit upon the most novel idea of starting an M.A. Course in Karunanidhi Studies something in the lines of the Gandhian Philosphy and Thought notwithstanding the fact that the only difference between these two people is that the latter had some principles and the former hasn’t had any.
Well, you might call it the height of sycophancy. Others might call it the evolution of rationalism. I prefer to call it a practical longevity measure for the current vice-chancellor for the University of Madras.
In line with my attempt to help the future students of the course to pass the exams ( if any are conducted at all ), I have made a feeble attempt to prepare a model question paper and some answers. It is intended for people who are not from the ‘Rationalist University of Erode’ and therefore I have decided to prepare this sample in the lines of the ‘Konar Tamil Urai’ or ‘Konar Notes’ for the un-initiated. These non-rationalist lot needs to pass you see. People wishing to score high marks need not read this. They could indeed concentrate on ‘Murasoli’ – the mouth organ of the DMK.
Note : Hereinafter the grand rationalist pantheon shall be referred to as M.K. ( Gandhiji, pls forgive me )
1. Why should MK be given multiple awards daily ?
Ans : Awards are meant to be given to somebody. The only person available on earth who does not have anything to do but receive awards is MK. Hence MK should receive awards daily.
2. Who should present an award to MK ?
Ans: Anybody with enough money to lavish on ornamental decorations and some cash bags ( ‘por-kizhi’ for the tamils ) and are expecting some contracts from the state govt can give this award.
3. What are the pre-requisites for an award function for MK ?
Ans: Stalin, Kanimozhi, Alagiri, Dayanidhi and the multitudes of spouses of MK would need to be present on the dais. Poet Vaali and Vairamuthu should speak for 30 mins each on why the award should be given to MK. Veeramani should shout from the dais that the ‘Brahmanical hegemony’ would be torn down by this award. Then the award can be presented.
4. What has been the policy of MK on Sri Lanka ?
A. Srilankans are our brothers and hence we need to fight them.
B. Srilankans belong to a separate nation and the can take care of their problems themselves.
C. The Tigers are the same as the SL Tamils.
D. The Tigers are different from SL Tamils.
E. All of the above.
5. Which of the following describes MK’s action plan on freeing SL tamils?
A. Creating Human-Chains consisting of school children under heavy downpour
B. Writing letters to the Prime Minister urging action
C. Writing more letters to the PM and the ‘real’ PM ( read Sonia )
D. Passing Assembly resolutions
E. Taking rest in the beach ( called ‘fast unto death’ ) for 2 hours surrounded by a/c machines
F. All of the above.
6. What best describes ‘secularism’ according to MK ?
A. Ridiculing ‘Hinduism’ in every Ramzaan function
B. Writing poetry ( if you can call that so) deriding hindu gods in the party organ Murasoli
C. Extending ‘Ramzaan’ and Christmas wishes but not Deepavali wishes
D. Fielding only Muslim candidates and Christian candidates from constituencies where the two
communities are in sizeable numbers.
E. All of the above.
7. What is “State Autonomy” ( Maanila Suyaatchi ) ?
A. The token speech given everytime the DMKs terms are not accepted by the Congress party.
B. The term that occurs frequently when the DMK is in opposition and vanishes into thin air once
they form the government.
C. The term often quoted when ever Annadurai needs to be remembered
D. All of the above
8. According to MK, what best describes ‘paguththarivu’ ( ‘ rationalism’ for the un-initiated)
A. Visiting the memorials of Annadurai and EVR prior to embarking on any campaign
B. Wearing an yellow coloured shawl everytime in public meetings
C. Swearing at opposition colleagues in marriage functions of party cadre
D. Erecting multi metre high cut-outs for self and family all through the state
E. All of the above.
9. What does ‘fast unto death’ mean in ‘MK parlance ?
A. A two hour official siesta ( after a heavy breakfast) in the Marina beach, surrounded by a/c machines and relatives and friends with everybody controlling their laughter by trying to speak into their mobile phones.
B. A and some phone calls from the PM and Sonia Gandhi
C. B and some ‘self-torching-ceremonies’ enacted in the state.
D. All of the above.
10. What does MK do while not working for the people of TN ?
A. Write screen-play for un-watchable movies such as ‘Uliyin Oosai’
B. Repeat A.
C. All of the above.
11. What does MK do while ‘working‘ for the people of TN ?
A. Same as Question No 10.
Note : Though the course has been described as an ‘M.A’, once you en-roll, there are chances that you could be conferred with a Ph.D ( ‘Doctorate’ as it is called in TN ) as there is an abundance of doctorates vested with the Universities that any passerby is being pulled into an University and conferred the ‘Doctorate’, the latest ones being Stalin and Sonia.