Some 'Rationalist Derivations'

Day after day, you keep hearing the heroic deeds of the ‘warrior’ class called ‘Tamils’. Not a day passes without a special mention about the ‘tamil pride’ and erstwhile bravery of the ‘Thalapathis’ and ‘Anja Nenjans’ ( loosely translated as ‘Commanders’ and ‘fear-less hearts’ respectively) in many a news paper.

Special functions are held every alternate day to appreciate some leader of the ‘tamil pantheon’ for some supposedly brave act, an impossible feat that was supposed to have been accomplised by the person who is sought to be appreciated. Titles and awards flow freely in the state with every person awarding the other and the other reciprocating the gesture. If you happen to see two people talking in the street then the probablity of one giving away an award to the other cannot be discounted. Don’t ask as to what the award was for. An award has to be presented to somebody on a daily basis and that is a sacrosanct duty of the tamil populace. No questions to be asked by the news papers. They usually don’t for the large amounts of advertisement material from the powers that be. So, why spoil the steady revenue flow ?

Did somebody mention ‘freedom of the press’ and ‘un-biased reporting’ ? Probably you are referring to some words that are not even present in the dictionary. Now is the period in history where news papers are paid to publish a news.

Leave alone the awards. Let us look at the titles that prefix the names of the dignitaries. As per our tamil nadu’s tradition, one is supposed to address another by the title and not by one’s name. If you happen to mention somebody’s name, even by mistake, then you should probably belong to the so-called upper echelons of the society who does not want to recognize the title holder by the title. How dare you invoke one by his / her name ? Sacrilege, you see.

Some titles and the spirit behind the same :

  1. “Amma” – In ancient times used to refer to one’s mother. But of late has come to mean only one person in the ‘Rationalist Republic of Tamil Nadu’. If you happen to mention the true name of this person, then you are probably against the female gender and you are probably a male chauvenist.
  2. Annai” – This also used to mean one’s mother. Currently means the female power center that reigns the country by proxy from New Delhi. Don’t ever mention the name for a CBI case would be filed against you anytime soon.
  3. Kalaignar” – Originally used to mean an artist. Its current synonyms roughly translate as “An expert in the three forms of the tamil language”, ” The Thiruvalluvar who is alive”, “The Head of the Tamil Family Worldwide”, “The Tamil Language”, “The Tamil Motherhood’s only son” etc
  4. Udan Pirappu” – originally meant one’s sibling. Currently means the grass roots worker of the party of “Kalaignar”. Literal meaning would vary from ‘readily available human-self-immolation-inventory’ to ‘humans spending all their lives for the DMK to the detriment of their own family’. In otherwords means ‘a sacrificial goat’. They are also the only readers of the party organ ‘Murasoli’ and who who get paid to attend party meetings.
  5. Rathaththin Raththam” – literal meaning – blood of the blood. Not sure what that means. Probably should mean the DNA, RNA, Haemoglobin etc of the blood. Currently means the equivalent of ‘Udan Pirappu’ in the AIADMK. This group waits in the hot sun for over 12 hours to have a darshan of ‘Amma’ for 2 minutes.
  6. Thalabathy” – No, not the tamil film of the same name. Currently represents the only person in tamil nadu – the Right Honourable Deputy Chief Minister who is also one of the chosen the sons of the Chief Minister ( in other words “Kalaignar”). Not sure about the wars that he had led from the front.
  7. Anja Nenjan” – Literally means ‘the heart that has no fear’. Currently means the other son of the CM. He also happens to be an Union Minister of Chemicals. Inquiries into the relation between his educational qualifications and the position that he holds are un-warranted. Such inquiries shall expedite one’s funeral. He has the innate capability to represent the people of Tamil Nadu in the Parliament without having spoken even once for them in the august assembly. A gifted non-speaker whose ignorance of both Hindi and English has not handicapped him from being an MP. Person who has devised a new electoral mechanism wherein money automatically lands itself in the hands of the voters in white envelopes prior to elections. No body has been able to identify the source of money. Probably Scotland Yard detectives are needed for the same.
  8. Eezha Thamizh Thalabathy” – This could be loosely attributed to Thirumavalavan, Nedumaran, Vaiko and the lot. Anybody who raises ones’ decibel levels over the others on the Sri Lankan issue at any point in time could be termed as Eezha Thamizh Thalabathy. In the current political scenario this does not fetch any electoral dividend and hence has been discarded by the ruling DMK. Therefore there are many left-over-chasers who have been detailed above.
  9. Varungaala Mudhalvar” – Literally means the ‘future chief minister’. India is so free that anybody can use this title. In fact, it has become a practice to invoke just-born children with this title. Latest entrant into this ‘elite-club’ is Mr.Karthik Chidambaram whose only qualification is that he is the son of Mr.P.Chidambaram.
  10. Doctor” – Literally means the person who practises medicine as a profession. Currently means who has enough money to lavish on the ruling party so that he could be conferred with this title. Chances are, if you happen to pass by an university, you will be ‘doctored’ on a first come first serve basis. Otherwise how do you call Stalin a Doctor ?

Author: Amaruvi's Aphorisms

Banker by day, blogger by night and a reader throughout.

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