2g – JPC Report

Date : 15-Aug-2015.


And finally the JPC happened in 2015 for the 2g scam by which time many more scams for 3g,4g and many other gs have happened that made the 2g one pale in significance and magnitude.

Here are the transcripts of the 2g JPC sessions. For ease of use, the question is listed with the responses from the different stake holders. The stakeholders are to be referred as per the legend below.


Sonia (G1)
Rahul (G2)
A.Raja ( err Rasa in line with Tamil culture )
MK ( needs no explanation )
Kani ( also does not need any explanation)
Nira Radia ( NR )
What do you think of 2g scam ?
G1 : Well, the RSS is a fundamentalist organization that needs to be banned.
G2: I agree with the question. Once Kamaraj rule is attained, the RSS needs to be banned.
MK : I agree with the question in full. This question is against ‘social justice’.
Kani : The ‘leader'( read MK ) will decide on the answer.
Rasa : I can answer only when I am on the phone and that too only with Nira Radia.
NR : The issue can be sorted out with Mukesh and Tata. I am having a lunch with them this afternoon.

What do you understand by 1,76,000 Crore ?
G1 : That is the number of times the RSS has committed communal disturbance in the last 50 years.
G2: This is the number of huts in Bihar that I need to visit to partake of the porridge prior to the next election.
MK : You are asking me this number because I don’t wear a thread on my body. This is what Anna fought for.
Kani : The number of times I would have spoken to NR.
Rasa : Looks like some ISD telephone number. I will any ways consult with NR on this.
NR : I will talk to Barkha Dutt today and get a clarification issued on that.

Why did the 2g scam happen ?
G1 : I want to emphasize that we need to fight the RSS evil tooth and nail.
G2: We will fight corruption tooth and nail.
MK : Because of Jayalalitha and the brahmanical newspapers. That is what EVR Periyar fought against,
Kani : Did it ever happen ? I didn’t ask NR to do this at all in my phone talks with her.
Rasa : Looks like Dayanidhi Maaran is behind this. I will any ways consult with NR on this.
NR : No problem. I will talk to Vir Sanghvi and Ratan Tata today and get a clarification issued on that.

How can such a scam be avoided in future ?
G1 : Once the RSS is banned this will not happen. That is what Indiraji told me as soon as I became her ‘bahu’.
G2: Once Narendra Modi’s govt is disodged from gujarat, such scams can be avoided.
MK : Go and ask ‘Ammaiyar’ Jayalalitha. You don’t want a ‘shudra’ govt in the state. Anna told me this many times.
Kani : Just allot the Voltas Lands to Rajaathi Amma ( my mother ) and such things will never happen.
Rasa : As long as we follow the BJP govt’s policies, this will happen. Shall speak to NR on this.
NR : I will talk to Hillary Clinton today and get a clarification issued as soon as Obama wakes up.

Why did the Auditor General write such a scathing report ?
G1 : I did not appoint the CAG as I had appointed Pratiba and Navin Chawla. That is my mistake. See there are no problems with Pratiba Patil and Chawla.
G2: I smell the RSS being behind this. We need to ban both the CAG as well as the RSS.
MK : CAG has only 90% reservation. Had we followed EVR and Anna’s teachings, CAG would not have written this report.
Kani : You need to ask Dayanidhi about this. Also Alagiri would help in this question.
Rasa : Let me talk to NR and find out why.
NR : I will find from Nicholss Sarcozy today and get a clarification issued on that. I am meeting him tonight.

I am sorry you have not answered any of the questions. Can you tell me why ?
G1 : I suspect you are an RSS member yourself. Hence you, the JPC, needs to be banned along with the RSS.
G2: We need to bring inner party democracy to our party. This I have already told the US Ambassador 2 years ago.
MK : Anna and EVR did not bring me up to aswer your questions. I am answerable only to Anna and EVR.
Kani : I have already answered many calls from Nira Radia. What more do you want me to do ?
Rasa : Because Sunil Mittal of Airtel was against my appointment as Telecom Minister. I will speak to ‘Leader’ about this.
NR : Has not Barkha answered all the questions ? I will speak to Putin and David Cameroon to answer the questions. I am meeting them for breakfast tomorrow.
And the nation gets ready for another JPC inquiry, this time in the 5g scam and the story continues…

Author: Amaruvi's Aphorisms

Banker by day, blogger by night and a reader throughout.

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