Quick guide to ( not )getting arrested ..

1. If you Take a picture of anybody that you know or don’t know. Ensure that he is not
Chidambaram err.. Not from Chidambaram, a temple town in Tamil Nadu.
2. Don’t celebrate Karthi err.. Karthigai festival. Chances are you would be talking to somebody
about Karthi-gai and hence could get arrested that too if you celebrate Karthi-gai in
Chidambaram.
3. Better wear a talisman with one or many of the following verse ” Long Live ________” you
should fill in the blanks based on which state you happen to be in. Anyways have a spare
talisman with “Long Live _________ Gandhi”. You never know what to fill in. It could be Sonia,
Rahul anybody .
4. Time to express condolences to any body who is dead – better have a script that would
automatically post to all the social media sites. Serves as an insurance policy just in case, you
never know. Next time your 60 year old milk man comes home, pls express your condolence to
his long dead grand father. The milk man could be from your local hooligan party .
5. Always have a black shirt / saree handy. Better pack one in your laptop bag. Leaders die now a
days in such numbers that’s you don’t want to be caught unawares.
6. Rehearse your condolence message like ” father figure” , ” light has gone out ” ( not applicable
to Tamil Nadu as the lights are always out ), ” vacuum has been created “, ” era has ended ”
etc.
7. Just in case you are arrested still, cry out these words ” secularism at stake”, ” freedom of
expression”, ” thought police “, ” law and order” and “fundamental right “. Chances are you
could be let off on bail as soon as you are arrested.
8. If nothing else works out, better be in jail . It is a better place. You could have ministers and
starlets to keep company with !

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