Staying stupid..

One can become stupid  by being born stupid or one can acquire stupidity by joining the Congress party of India.

The other way is to  listen to this speech of Rahul. And you will turn stupid instantly.

Thus spake the Budhoo Bhagawan and saviour of the masses : ( Italicised writings are my comments )

1.I am a soldier of the Congress. Will do whatever the party wants me to do. (But) Congress constitution says MPs choose the prime minister after elections.

Kindergarten children know that the process of choosing the Prime Minister is written in the electoral laws of the country and   they are in the constitution of the nation. Budhoo, this is not Congress constitution. Think you have constipation.

2.We are warriors, and we will go into battle with our heads held high, knowing what we stand for. I will do anything you want me to, I am a loyal soldier.

Oh ‘do anything ?’. Okay, migrate to South Sudan. They need ‘talents’ there.

3.The Opposition has good marketing skills. There is “chamak, naach, gaana (glitter, dancing, singing)”. They are selling combs to bald men. Now there are a new group of people who are trying to give them haircuts.

From talking about economics, you have come to talk about giving hair cuts. Great way to progress. Learn that skill, Budhoo. Would be useful after elections are over.

4. Laws are being made now by the media, by judges, in the streets – we need to involve you, the elected representatives, once again in law-making. This is your domain.

Yes, let them make laws. You go to giving hair cuts. Kejriwal will accompany you with a broom. you two would make a great pair.

5. Opposition says India should be Congress-free. But Congress is not an organization. It’s a philosophy that stands for the rights and dignity of every individual in this country.

Read what is written in your script properly. Philosophy does not stand for anything. People stand by philosophies. Budhoo, accompany Priyanka’s daughter to school.

6. Democracy is not rule by one man. We don’t hand over the structure of a party to one man.

Correct. It is not by one man. It is like ‘Alibaba and his 40 thieves’. You are correct, finally.

7. We do not respond by subverting democratic institutions, blocking Parliament sessions year after year, day after day.

Very true Budhoo. That is why you appointed men of great integrity for the post of CVC and a woman of the greatest intellect for the post of the President of the nation. I trust you.

8. I want to see 50% women at AICC sessions, in Parliament and among chief ministers of state governments.

Arre Budhoo, first gather 50 people for your sessions. People rush out of meetings when they come to know that you are going to speak.

9. This is not about yet another election; it is a turning point in our nation’s history. The change that is taking place before us is unstoppable.

Correct. Before the change becomes obvious, buy your plane ticket.

Author: Amaruvi's Aphorisms

Banker by day, blogger by night and a reader throughout.

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